Salamander see something he do something. Salamander kill many people. Chased one man across field –right there! But Salamander only kill bad people. You no worry.

How many people have you killed, Salamander?

Seven. Ten. Seventeen. Some days I not remember. But for everyone I kill I make robot life form. To replace.

What does the robot do? How could a robot replace a living person?

They do. People don’t know difference. They replace them. They wear their clothes, hang with friends. Nobody know. Only me robot maker can see difference.

Have I ever seen one of your robots in the real world?

Many times. But they don’t go in water. If you want to see if man is robot ask him go in pool… Man you always see in lobby? He robot.

That blonde-haired guy?

Yes. You ever hear him talk?

No. He seems friendly though.

All robot friendly. I make them that way. But that one he no talk. I no get voice replicator working. Keep short circuit. So I just leave like that. Make so he smile and walk away. He replaced this bad man who steal people money. I kill him, put robot there. Robot no steal money. Robot smile people.

But what about that guy’s family?

His family don’t know. Think he no want talk anymore. But wife left him. She say he too creepy.

You shouldn’t kill people, Salamander.

I know…

Just stop killing people. Just don’t do it anymore.

Salamander, look at me. Why do you have to kill people?

Sometimes Sun tell me to do. Sometimes Moon. Sometimes Wind.

You don’t have to listen to those things. You can make your own choices.

Who you, my conscience? Why don’t you shut up? SHUT UP!

I’m just making a suggestion. I—AKKK!!!! EUCHHH—ERKKHH!

That’s what you get make suggestion. I no like suggestion. You make Salamander mad. He no like guy talk talk talk. Ask question, ask question. You die like rest. I make robot you. Much better. No talk so much. I ran out voice replicator anyway. I make robot just smile, make people happy. No talk talk talk. Talk bad. Robot good. Salamander make world better one robot at time. You thank me later.

The one thing Nightmare didn’t anticipate was how loud the horses would be. She was at the lead, riding her blue unicorn and there must have been fifty horses behind her. The hooves hitting shale was deafening. Usually her pointed fairy ears were able to block things out, especially when it involved humans. This time it was hard- maybe because of their sheer number. In addition to the hooves and the horse grunts she was forced to hear the humans’ banal conversations about beer and roadhouse strippers. Even the sound of someone in the back of the troop scratching their neck or rolling a cigarette was annoying. She’d hear the fingernails grating against the sunburnt skin or the tobacco sprinkling on the paper and then the tongue sealing it closed. Humans were always smoking and chewing tobacco and drinking beer and all of these sounds were repulsive to her. She focused instead on the music of unicorn’s breathing- it was like distant sleigh bells and with every exhalation tiny twinkling stars blew out of the unicorn’s nostrils. She honed in on the sleigh bell melody and watched the sparkles and felt much better.

As the moon rose they reached the Great River. The wind picked up, carrying a smattering of snowflakes. This is where the ambush happened. They came from all sides, dropping down from the trees and springing up from the earth, tearing the humans’ necks open or ripping their hearts straight through their boney chests. These were bad fairies. Their mouths were overfilled with sharp black fangs and they had three horns sticking straight out of their foreheads. Nightmare grabbed a human baby from the arms of its fallen mother and took off into the sky just as one of the bad fairies ripped her unicorn’s flank. It shrieked and bled purple stars as they rose above the water. Another bad fairy landed on her back and bit one of her ears. She stabbed it with a twin-bladed magical dagger and it fell screaming down into the river.

Resting with the unicorn on a snowy cloud above, she rocked the crying human baby in her arms. She could only watch the rest being torn to pieces below. Those are your people, she told the baby. They are ugly, ornery, brutes that smell rancid but they don’t deserve to die like that. The baby became still and stared down at the carnage, moonlight shining in its brown eyes. Someday you will avenge them.

As it turns out you only have thirty more seconds to live. Doesn’t seem like thirty seconds though does it? Seems like just the same second over and over again. Or just one long second. Thirty of anything seems like a lot right now. Actually it’s not thirty anymore. Now it’s fifteen. There was this girl in a bagel shop off of Haight Street. You got her number one day but she was busy when you called. Once you saw her holding hands with a tall skinny guy with long hair. Now you have ten seconds. You smell that rose-scented soap your grandmother used to wash your hands. And then that’s it.