I told the kids to check around and bring me one of their classmates who they thought could kill someone. Most of them were scared stiff of killing someone when it came down to it. You could get them to steal but that was about it. We needed a kid for a particular clandestine operation, an especially sensitive job. There was a lot of money involved and we wanted to do it right. So Jerry said they found somebody and I was pretty excited to go down there. I’ve been in this business a long time and I can usually tell right away if it’s going to work out. But I got in the room and they had this little girl in there with a blonde bob haircut, smartly dressed, sitting in front of a piano on her little piano stool. I turned to Jerry but he and the other kids had already run off. So I sat down with her and right away I noticed something in her eyes. “Do you know why I’m here?” I asked. “Yes,” she replied.

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The guy had a black cloak and a big black hat and a pointy beard. He went by the name of Dr. Pingertolian and was, by profession, a dentist. He had a lot of bad habits- starting with a whole lifetime of kidnapping people who were never heard from again. And he dipped into the drugs of his profession- another bad habit. His nurse and secretary Chelly feared him and was thankful every night when she got back into her car unscathed. There were no referrals ever, Pingertolian’s business operated solely on internet marketing and old folks using the yellow pages. When people drove up there was something distinctly unnerving about the building- it had a certain vibe about it- the same kind of vibe you’ll have at a slaughterhouse or a prison. But the patients had already driven all the way out there and tended to ignore their best instincts and went inside anyway. Most of them weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed to begin with.

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There were about ten skeletons dancing the jig- bloody flesh still hanging off their bones. They were creating such a racket that it woke the princess, who stormed down the stone steps and confronted them in the great hall. She screamed and screamed at them but the skeletons went on dancing. They sang pirate chanteys as they whirled atop the oak tables but their tongues had all half-fallen out and it sounded like hell. The princess got closer, shouting at them and shaking her fists. Her white dress was immediately splattered with blood. Then one of the skeletons grabbed her and lifted her onto the table, spinning her in their crazy dance. She punched at him and her fist went right through his bony chest. The more she clawed and hit, the more parts went flying off him and the more bloodstained her dress became.

As soon as the first skeleton was ripped apart and scattered, a second skeleton grabbed her and spun her into another grotesque dance. He hugged her tight and tried to lick her with his rotten tongue but she tore his ribs right off his spine and sent his skull crashing to the stone floor below. Another skeleton grabbed her and she went down the line, and, fighting off her undead suitors one by one.

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