It was an old felt hat, a little dusty. Green with a gold buckle and a black band. A leprechaun’s hat- the kind you’d wear on St. Patrick’s day before such hats were reduced to metallic cardboard. It had several abilities and one was to levitate, another to answer questions. Mavis kept it in a closet mostly where it hovered under some wire hangers. When she opened the door it followed her to her office and answered questions, mostly about her love life. Most of the responses were sarcastic, like What do you think? but Mavis realized that this sarcasm came from an intelligence far superior to her own so she kept up with her interrogations until she found something she could use. Well, obviously he would like the linguini, it only reminds him of the happiest time of his life, that’s all. But serve him whatever you want.
Monthly Archives: July 2008
The Shoot-Out
The three of them sat on the diving board, high above the indoor public pool, bathing suits still wet, Amra, Kelly, and Dave, watching below as the water filled with, alternately, dead mobsters and cops. The gunfire was deafening, every shot echoing across the water. The shoot-out had been going on for hours now and neither side appeared to be winning. As soon as it seemed the cops had the upper hand, riddling the gangsters’ Armani suits with bullets and watching the last one topple into the swimming pool, another wave would arrive and Tommy guns would erupt with volleys of bullets that sent the officers for cover behind the knocked-over lockers. Most of the regular swimmers had run out screaming long ago but the three kids had gotten trapped on top of the high dive when the shoot-out began.
The Ant
I was cramped into the tiny airplane seat, in coach, my iPod and bag of peanuts on the tray table, peoples’ elbows on either side of me. There was the white airplane noise and my neighbors on each side were dozing. I looked over at the center aisle and there was a giant ant sitting in one of the seats- larger than a person, head with trembling antennae rising up over the tops of the seats. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him and wanted to say something to the other passengers but I couldn’t find the words. The ant appeared to be eating something and I saw it was the in-flight magazine. He bit at it like a regular sized ant might bite a leaf. I opened my mouth but no words came out and found myself pressing the attendant button until my finger got white.